“…the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people…” I Samuel 13:14 New International Version
How do you stir your passion for God? Sometimes there are seasons where it is so easy. The worship flows and it doesn’t matter if anyone is watching or not. You are just caught up in love – caught up in worship. And there are seasons of constant distractions or dryness or exhaustion. How do you maintain passion in those seasons? How do you keep from becoming like the Laodiceans who were neither hot nor cold?
August 2005 – at a conference in Southern California. It was unlike anything I had experienced before. People were running and dancing and jumping during the worship. People were breaking out in laughter and yelling during the sermons. Even waiting in line to get into a session people were falling down on the ground and yelling out what were suppose to be prophesies. I was hungry for God but this was too much. This chaos couldn’t be God.
The speaker for that session was Heidi Baker – whom I had never heard of. As she came onto the stage, before she even spoke, I was suddenly and powerfully struck with the conviction that I did not love the Lord Jesus. It made no sense to me. I thought I loved the Lord. I had given everything and risked everything to be obedient to the call on my life. Time and again I had surrendered to the Holy Spirit. But even though my mind couldn’t wrap around it the conviction was real and powerful. As Heidi knelt on the stage to worship God as if no one else was in the room, I knew it was true. She loved Jesus above all else. I had gotten so caught up in ministry and what I thought was God or wasn’t I had lost my first love. That evening Heidi spoke on the Spirit of Adoption and I realized I had been working for God as an orphan, trying to earn my way into the favor I already possessed as his child. When I arrived home from the conference I went to my bedroom, put on worship music. I knew if it was Jesus I wanted it – no matter what it looked like. I said out loud, “Holy Spirit, I surrender” and within a minute I was on my face at the beginning of what would be a three day encounter with God that would change me for the rest of my life. Those three days led into a season of almost daily encounters with God.
What I've learned is that when I hold onto the revelation that my first calling in life is to be a kid, His daughter, I never have to go a day without hearing His voice and feeling His presence. No matter what the season of my life, if I make my one ambition to seek after his heart I will remain in encounter with Him and from that place of encounter passion flows. I don’t have to beg for the crumbs that fall from my master’s table, as an orphan or slave would. I am a daughter of the most high God and anytime that I want to I can turn my heart towards him, connect with his heart and encounter His presence.
Jesus, we are after your heart. We want to know what you are thinking and feeling, what moves you with joy and what brings a tear to your eye. Teach us to live in a continuous encounter with you. Amen.
